Running For My Life

In the last 3 1/2 years, I have done a lot of things that scare me: living alone and thriving, starting a new relationship, leaving a job that was making me unhappy, directing harder plays, sharing myself online, and running. I have never been an athletic gal, but the dissolution of my marriage pushed me towards the gym and ultimately, road. I have run countless 5Ks, a few 10Ks, two Boilermakers (15K), and even a half-marathon. If you had asked me 5 years ago if I would do ANY of these things much less ALL of them, I would have definitely said, "Absolutely not!' Tomorrow, one of my closest friends and I begin our 12-week training program for the Empire State Half-Marathon and I am scared. I am more scared than I was before my first ever run.

Why? I have narrowed it to three major factors: 

1. My self-confidence: since being under-employed, I have lost what I thought off of my athlete's mind. I now fear since no one wants to hire me, I am not good enough to take on this challenge. My resolution that I could do anything if I trained properly is almost gone. 

2. My current physical condition: being home more and depressed about it leads to emotional eating. Being 26 miles from my gym membership doesn't help either. I have put on weight and lost tone...that is never a good place to be. I also desperately need new running shoes, but don't have the salary to purchase them.

3. Fear of hitting the wall: by mile 11 of my last half,  I was in pain. My knees ached. I had no energy. It was tough. I had to resort to a walk for a bit. I was upset. Looking back, I did not strengthen my hips and glutes enough, I over carb-loaded, I did not hydrate enough.  Knowing that will help me this time. We are following a Hal Higdon training plan and I am reading a great book on race training nutrition.

Look at that girl, she is a happy racer. During the next 12 weeks, I will be working on finding her again...enjoying my training, getting leaner (I hope!), conquering my fear. Wish me luck!

teany.tiny.stitches. for real!

Proverbs tell us that "The first step is hardest." or "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Well, I took the step. I figured if I was going to design and market a line of patterns, that first I needed a name and a logo. Two friends and I have a dream of opening an stitching shop with a tea bar and calling it "teany.tiny.stitches." Yes, we know that "teany" is misspelled. But we are going for a cutesy little joke. TEA. Get it? I love the name, so I decided that it suited this new venture. Since it is all about stitching, I knew that the logo needed to be stitched. So that is where I am in the process, if you can call it that.

New Ventures, New Adventures!

I have always been a thinker and often-times, an over-thinker. Many people are guilty of this (especially women.) Since losing my job, I have had PLENTY of time to think. Sometimes, I think about my worth or lack thereof. It is truly amazing how much of our self-worth is linked to our jobs. It defines us and I felt as though I lacked definition. That is until last night...

After a fabulous anniversary dinner date/trip to the library with my sweetie, it struck me: I AM AN ARTIST. Therefore, I have a job. I have been given a gift: time. I get to experiment in the kitchen, garden, walk, take photos, sing and dance, enjoy the sun, see my friends, and CREATE. Sitting behind a desk would limit these experiences, so why am I moaning. I should be reveling in it.

I have decided to spend the rest of the time I have been given doing just that. I will be focusing more on creating embroidery patterns to share and to sell. I will complete that blasted set model. I will embellish. I will make. JOY!

WIP Wednesday: CS Lewis Embroidery

I really meant to be a better blogger. I have been taking photos all summer long...tons of food prep shots, a baziilion macros, gardens, waterfalls, and festivals. I had every intention of sitting down every evening and writing a blog post. Sadly, being unemployed and constantly looking and anticipating is utterly exhausting. The process takes your best intentions and whisks them away. I tip-toed in and made a few design changes. I have been making and planning. I am assisting my local bead store in a move/re-design. In fact, if it wasn't for the money (and therefore, the job) necessary to live, my life would be perfect.

I have been spending time each night looking at inspirational quotations on Pinterest. I truly think that I may take some and design a line of embroidery patterns like to one above. I am taking Mr. Lewis's words to heart, "Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny." 

Keep an eye out for the pattern here soon.